guilty as charged

i understand that my absence has caused "MANY" people, such as yourself, a LOT of grief for not being able to laugh at someone who is MORE ridiculous(ly good looking) than themselves and for that i SINCERELY apologize. who am i to take such a gift away from you?

while i have been without a computer for a couple months now, i would NEVER dream of insulting you with such a pathetic excuse... FALSE! yes, i truly have been without a computer, but i know that it is NO excuse in this day and age. instead, i will simply list out my activities over the last two months as PROOF to you JUST HOW BUSY i have been:

this summer i’ve been so busy with...

eating,
sleeping,
working!
graduations,

baby showers,
shower singing,

alligator chasing,
office relocations,
home renovations,
chipotle shopping,

game director duties,

wicked sweet concerts,
bedroom redecorating,

urban outfitters oogling,
baby supplies shopping,
starbucks mug soliciting,
updating essential documents,
freaking out over being an AUNT!
learning IMPORTANT life lessons,

and..... shoot. i know there's more but i just can't rembmer it all!

UPDATE: 10/12/10 how could i FORGET!?! "assembling puzzling puzzles" that make you want to SWEAR. (scratch that last part....) =)

a sad day to be a rug

yesterday was a sad day to be a rug...

what started out as a normal happy cleaning day turned into an ugly murderous day.

you see, my george loves to leave his mark wherever he goes and he doesn't listen when i tell him to pick up after himself. i seem to be FOREVER vaccuming up the trail left behind him and his furry body. and my bathroom rug? it's his place of choice when sprawling out on the cold tiles. since my rug is so thin, i can't vaccum it and my lint rollers just aren't cutting it anymore so i decided to toss it in the washing machine to see if that would do the trick.

oh, it worked alright. but not only did it take the fur off but it took the THREADING off too!

now all i have left is a CLEAN and UNUSABLE bathroom rug. =(

i liked it better covered in fur...

i love them. i hate them.

i apparently have a very sick love/hate relationship with these stupid things...

my subconscious must hate them because i lose them ALL the time. JUST YESTERDAY, i was late to work 'cause i couldn't find them ANYWHERE. and i've been VERY diligent with them ever since this happened. i've been trying NOT to leave them in random places but instead, keep them in a consistent place--which oddly enough turns out to be my bed. well... more like the folds of my comforter. everyday when i come home, i head straight for my room and dump all my things on my bed. sometimes they get cleaned off, sometimes they don't. but MY KEYS ALWAYS stay in the bed. well... yesterday, i was panicking because they weren't there. i KNEW i had driven home from work and my sister drove when we went out the night before so they HAD to be in the house SOMEWHERE. nope. couldn't find them anywhere. i ended up having to catch a ride to work (LONG story). after work, i get a call from my big sister who lives in the NEXT town saying "hey, my neighbor from 2 HOUSES DOWN found your keys!" i was like "WHAT THE HECK!" i have NO CLUE, absolutely NO clue how they got there. he found them IN HIS FRONT YARD BY THE CURB! that just BLEW my mind. what are the chances!? i never went for a walk that night. i didn't drive. natalie just HAPPENED to be sitting outside in her car at the SAME time he was walking around trying to find out whose keys they were. and if she hadn't recognized them they'd still be lost. what are the ODDS!? like a gazillion to 1!

well i'm telling you, i SWEAR someone STEALS my keys JUST to make me go MAD. and its working! whoever you are, you had better STOP. (shaking fist)

ps. wanna know where my keys are right now? IN MY BED WHERE THEY BELONG.

so long miami

this past weekend, natalie and franklin bought me a starbucks miami CITY mug as payment for my fabulous house sitting skills during their 3 day absence. i was SO excited that i HAD to take a picture of it right away and send it to my friend ruth who also collects the city mugs. my phone was dying so i had to wait till we were in the restaurant lighting before i could take a photo to send to her. i popped the mug back into its box, stuck it under my arm and in my excitement, i didn’t think to put the LID of the box on the TOP. instead, i had put the box under my arm UPSIDE DOWN.

as i walked into the store, i heard this LOUD SHATTERING noise and my heart plummeted. i knew INSTANTLY that i had dropped my mug. i slowly turned around and sure enough, there on the floor, lay my shattered mug (and heart). the lid had popped open and my mug, my precious miami mug lay shattered on the floor. being the mature adult that i am, i held back my TEARS (more like HID) as i stooped down and picked up the pieces. i felt absolutely awful because not only was it a city i didn’t have but it was a GIFT from natty and franklin!

below are the heartbreaking pieces i was able to gather from the floor:

SOON, i will be visiting miami MYSELF, and i will be able to replace my mug. until then, i get to play with the pieces and see if i can glue them back together. (shrugging) besides, i've been needing a good place to stash my change. =)

clutz from birth

when you look my name up in the urban dictionary, this is what you may find next to my name: "a person who is never without a scrape or bruise. someone who always finds a way to trip, bump into things or people. and they are fond of knocking themselves out by walking into walls, doorways, corners, cabinets and/or desks."

guess what. that's ME. and how do i know this? well, i FELL in the parking lot at WORK, scraping my knee AND foot AND toes AND elbow... and pride. i don't even know how it happened! i was walking one second and the next, i was on the GROUND grasping for my foot. sure i was shocked at first, but once it set in what happened, the hurts started to come on and so did the tears. ...lets just say, you're never too old to tear up over a booboo.

i'm fine. i'm just glad nobody saw. i hope.

the saturday curse

when i first moved down here, i was super excited to hang out with my big sister, natalie. unbeknownst to us [mmm... good word. like that? =)], we were in for a doozy.

our FIRST saturday together? we ran out of gas and got stranded. in the rain. and had to PUSH the JEEP in our flip flops as cars WHIZZED passed us. big cars too! big enough ones that could have EASILY pushed/towed us the quarter of mile we needed to go. THANKFULLY, tomas (who we think was russian) stopped and helped us. and get this. his car was SO much tinnier than ours. we didn't care. we were GRATEFUL!

oh, and we when we were pulled up to the pump by our russian savior, we  realized we were on the WRONG SIDE! aaaahhhhhh! we still made it work anyway. hahahaha.

our SECOND saturday together? natalie and i decided to go shopping and stopped at the bank before heading out. after stopping at the bank, we wanted to keep ourselves out of TROUBLE so we went to get gas. JUST to be safe. and guess what. we LEFT the debit card in the ATM machine at the BANK! we couldn't get it back and had to cancel the card. and by we i mean her. she got scolded. poor natty. hahahaha.

[no photo could capture just how much shame we felt.]

after that, we called it quits and decided it wasn't safe for us to hang out together on saturdays anymore. we took several months off thinking our bad luck would "go away". i WOULD have been happy to report that nothing much has happened with us since those days but...

JUST yesterday, natalie and i decided that we'd waited long enough and thought it would be safe fur us to hang out once again. we spent the day doing a little paint shopping for her house. we bought some samples and  even made it home safe withOUT running out of gas and withOUT losing any cards! yay for us! well........ after painting a few areas to see which color we liked best, i  took a step back to see all our spots and BACKED UP into the FRESH paint with my BRAND NEW hoodie i got for christmas! i got paint ALL OVER the hood! we frantically ripped it off hoping to save it. THANKFULLY the paint was water soluble and we were able to save my hoodie after all.

it's nice to know things like this don't JUST happen to me like some would like to think. ;)

...oh, and natalie and i officially quit.

red liquid can't be good

my very first car, my baby neon, decided to quit on me. x_X

i was driving down us19, minding my own business, when i came up to the stop light at ridge road. i had slowed down to a crawl when the light turned green so, as most educated drives do, i pressed on the gas.  only i didn't go anywhere. i pressed a little harder but my engine rev'd way high. i started thinking "crap". i looked down and my car was still in drive. no problems there. but it still wouldn't accelerate. THANKFULLY i was right at an entrance drive so i pulled in and parked the car. i called my mechanic friend to come get me (thank you beeski!) and sat. patiently.

he finally arrived and it turns out my transmission is shot. well... it is for now until we find out what REALLY is wrong with it. =/ (fingers crossed)

not for the faint hearted

about two months back, my little brother jeffrey broke his arm during a go-kart accident [at an undisclosed location]. my poor little jeffy broke BOTH bones in his right arm. BOTH! i can't begin to imagine the pain he went through. i heard what happened--the resulting mental pictures are too gruesome to share. so instead, i'll show you the x-rays. =) keep in mind that it was his RIGHT arm that broke. and he doesn't have TWO elbows.

see for yourself:

he had to have a rod put THROUGH one bone because it shattered so severely and a metal brace put on the other--a brace that he'll most likely have to wear for the rest of his life. he will forever be setting off the metal detectors like the true deviant he is. (shaking head) they'll probably even have to strip search him. now he'll HAVE to wear clean socks and underwear when he leaves the house. you know, just in case... =)

he "claims" that pink was the only option, but i know better...

he has, i think, just one surgery left--to remove the rod from the bone that shattered. his arm will of course never be quite the same. it'll be weaker than his other for sure. and he'll have some cool scars to show people but honestly... i know he'd trade those scars and memories for another chance to whoop his older brothers in wrestling.

...stupid boys. =)

a bird freaking CRAPPED in my CAR!

a bird freaking CRAPPED in my CAR!

i was at my sister's house and left my windows open because it was such a nice evening out...... >_< i came outside only to find that a bird from the pit of HELL decided that MY innocent car was the prim-o spot to drop a nasty juicy deuce on. not only did it poop on the roof, back window, AND side of the car, but it's flight pattern allowed the trajectory of it's CRAP to LAND on my BACK SEAT! my car smelled like (censored) the whole way home.

...a bottle of resolve, a roll of paper towl, and a spray can of febreeze later, i'm comfortably back inside the shelter of my home where NO MORE CRAP can touch me!

you've GOT to be kidding me

i mowed last week and because i'm prone to locking myself out of my car (and my house... pretty much anything that requires a key) i made sure that i kept my keys near me just to be safe. i set them on my car so they wouldn't fall out of my pocket because i knew if i did, i'd find myself having to endlessly search my lawn for my keys.

i finished up mowing, put my stuff away and went inside to relax. i woke up the next morning and guess what. i couldn't find my keys anywhere. shocker i know! i knew they were there somewhere, i had them just the night before and i hadn't gone anywhere! so instead of looking all over, i decided to use my spare set and look for my keys once i got home from work. i grabbed the spares and rushed out to my car only to find THIS:

(do'h!)

i had left them OUTSIDE over NIGHT! i could have been robbed! ...but i wasn't. =)

a couple days later? i couldn't find them AGAIN. i knew i set them down somewhere! i used my spares once more. (thank heaven for spare keys!) two days later, i needed a band-aid and found this.....

(what is the deal!)

when will this madness end?!!!

hair color nightmare

bleeding hearts of the world united last week during my attempt to shed my rebellious brunette hair and return to the world of special treatment, laughter, and just plain old fashioned blonde fun.

bethany and i headed out to sally's to buy hair bleach, but since it was closed, and i was too impatient, i was forced to buy some "extreme bleach" hair color (first mistake.) from publix. (second mistake.)

we brought home the product and began the ill-fated dying process. she foiled the bleach through my hair and after a quick rinse and wash, i realized that foiling just wasn't gonna cut it. it didn't really change my look too much so i had her put the rest of the goop all over my hair. (third mistake.) my hair turned a REDISH ORANGE! i. freaked. out.

see for yourself!:

shock and fear!then sadness. =(finally acceptance--if only for a short while.

the very next day, i headed back to sally's to try and get the bleach that i originally wanted to use on my hair. THIS time they were open. i bought the necessary supplies and bethany and i went at it again. we plastered the bleach over my entire head. fourth mistake. my hair turned a freakishly iridescent yellow!


it was horrible. i looked like some white-trash girl who tried to color her hair by herself and it all went horribly wrong! oh wait.... that DID happen. (minus the white-trash part.) hahaha. =) i panicked. again. you'd think that i would have learned from the first THREE mistakes and gone to a professional salon but noooo. i had to be stubborn and try and fix the mistakes myself. (shaking fist at stubborn pride.) i did however call up my sister galilee, and i asked her what i should have done from the very beginning. i was instructed to add some color to what i had left of my hair and pray for the best since i had acted so foolishly already. so i did what i was told. and i sat. and waited.

now? i have a somewhat decent looking color of hair. i will say that i'm MUCH happier now with how i look but its not exactly what i would call "natural" looking.

i can't quite expect the moon
when i've already shot it to bits and pieces. =/

eh, what's a few extra peppers?

i went to a pampered chef party where thee bestest homemade salsa was served. so bestest in fact that i went out the very next day and bought all the ingredients to make it myself.

i made it with:
4 roma tomatoes
1/2 green pepper
1/2 red pepper
1/2 orange pepper
2 habaneros
1 jalepeño
1/2 white onion
1 lime (squeezed)
a bit of fresh garlic
and a few snips of cilantro

chop. chop. chop.

stir. stir. stir.

and voila! homemade salsa!

i like things hot and spicy--hence my love for chipotle's delicious salsa filled burrito bowls--so i thought i'd add a few extra jalepeños and habaneros. merely to enhance that bit-o-bark i experienced the night before. i could handle it, right? WRONG-O. the extra peppers (with seeds) made it TOO hot and TOO spicy! i'd eat a bit, then chug down some sweet tea. eat a bit more and then chug down more tea. the more i ate, the better my tongue felt, until i stopped. so... i had no choice but to eat more! i eventually was too full to eat any more and the only way i could cool my tongue was to suck on chunks of ice! and pant. like a dog. which didn't really help at all but i did it anyway.

i hate to admit this but once my tongue cooled down, madness took over and i went at it again. i have since "altered" the recipe to the one you see above and now? oh my gosh. it is soo delish. you should try it. i promise, it won't be as ridiculous as my "first" recipe. =) unless you think you are better than me, which you are not, so don't bother asking for it.

update 07/26/09: it's in the wee hours of the morning and i'm on the toilet because of the salsa. i guess it's better than at 11am, right when the sunday morning service STARTS! because then, EVERYone would know how long i was "gone".