pizza--of all the culprits

i've had my wisdom teeth for years. years. and they've never given me any problem. that is not until a couple days ago. i chipped my tooth on some pizza and had to go in to the dentist to get it checked out. as a result, i'll have to have a crown put on it. BUT! before any of that happens, i have to have my wisdom teeth pulled! of ALL the luck. =( next tuesday is my lucky day for getting all of my wisdom teeth ripped out of their comfortable homes--deep in the caverns of my gums. they'll then be slung around the trophy necklace i SWEAR the oral surgeon must hide under his pillow.

my doc prescribed me this mouth wash, chlorhexidine gluconate (the cheap version of periogard) that i have to use three times a day until the appointed time. now i can't sleep because the after-taste is like yak spit mixed with listerine. the bottle warns to not swallow but i can't help the little sloshes that sneak down my throat! its just awful! my tongue tingles, my gums feel dry, and my dangly thing feels like it was scrubbed with ascorbic acid. not only do i have to use this stuff taken straight out of snape's closet... but i have to use it 3 times a day--every day until my surgery!

i’m sure tooth extraction technology has advanced from the days of metal tools and pliers but why can't they just get a lock on them and beam them out? it would certainly save me from all the misery i'm sure will ensue.