18 bottles

i had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted i empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. after careful consideration, i reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

i withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

then, i withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

i then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, which i drank.

i pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which i drank.

i pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

i pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. then, i corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

when i had everything emptied, i steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by i counted them again, and finally i had all the houses in one bottle, which i drank.

i'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep i am. i'm not half as thunk as you might drink. i fool so feelish i don't know who is me, and the drunker i stand here, the longer i get.