politically correct carols

10. O Holiday Tree
9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter
8. Frosty the Snowperson
7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire

(for Which I Do Have a Permit)

6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified

Non-Human Perpetrator
4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage

(If Office Policy Permits)
3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings
2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely
Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection
1. I’ll Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December