rent-a-person

okay, you have to watch the video from this post first and then watch this one. you'll see why... =D

validation

everyone wants to be validated. this is a very cute and "short" video that shows how our words and actions effect those around us.

google logos

i stumbled upon a collection of google holiday logos.

check 'em out:

happy new year! 2008

happy halloween 2008

spring 2009

happy birthday giovanni schiaparelli 2009

election day 2008

easter 2009

earth day 2009

happy birthday dr. sues 2009

valentines day 2009

and of course, the standard google logo

riverside cleanup

today, i got to go with some co-workers to clean up a section of the east race near our work. it was a beautiful morning. absolutely perfect weather.

we picked up a LOT of trash--a whole pickup full. we found some of the craziest things. a beach ball, a paint roller, underwear (seriously, who takes off their underwear and leaves it by the river? ...stupid drunks. hahaha.). we even found a store bought turkey--still in the wrapping!

East Race Cleanup

massage anyone?

college essay

this is an actual essay written by a college applicant, when applying to nyu, where he now attends.

3a. essay: in order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you the applicant better, we ask that you answer the following question:

are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?

i am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. i have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. i translate ethnic slurs for cuban refugees, i write award-winning operas, i manage time efficiently. occasionally, i tread water for three days in a row.

i woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, i can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and i cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. i am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in peru.

using only a hoe and a large glass of water, i once single-handedly defended a small village in the amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. i play bluegrass cello, i was scouted by the mets, i am the subject of numerous documentaries. when i'm bored, i build large suspension bridges in my yard. i enjoy urban hang gliding. on wednesdays, after school, i repair electrical appliances free of charge.

i am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. i don't perspire. i am a private citizen, yet i receive fan mail. i have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. last summer i toured new jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. i bat . 400. my deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. children trust me.

i can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. i once read paradise lost, moby dick, and david copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. i know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. i have performed several covert operations for the cia. i sleep once a week; when i do sleep, i sleep in a chair. while on vacation in canada, i successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. the laws of physics do not apply to me.

i balance, i weave, i dodge, i frolic, and my bills are all paid. on weekends, to let off steam, i participate in full-contact origami. years ago i discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. i have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. i breed prizewinning clams. i have won bullfights in san juan, cliff-diving competitions in sri lanka, and spelling bees at the kremlin. i have played hamlet, i have performed open-heart surgery, and i have spoken with elvis.

but i have not yet gone to college.

hillsong london

last night i went to granger church to see hillsong london with some friends. i had such a great time and the music was incredible.

my favorite lyrics from their song from the inside out are:

"a thousand times i've failed
still your mercy remains
and should i stumble again
still i'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades...."

(that makes me smile.) =)

here are some photos from the night:

happy birthday jordan!

happy birthday to my bestest big brother--jordan. =)

i remember...

• you playing in the dirt & getting "raccoon eyes".
• your song--"it's a bomba buddy, it's a bomba".
• the blue & green silk blankies you'd carry EVERYwhere.
• you eating whole boxes of cereal and getting yelled at for not sharing (coco-puffs anyone?).
• you & jonathan wailing EVERY saturday morning about your "booses".
• seeing who could list the most alien species from star trek.
• watching saturday morning cartoons like... reboot, spiderman, tailspin, pinky & the brain.
• going over your baseball cards w/me to see who i thought was the cutest. =)
• the famous sandwich "finger-weave".
• your 15in glass frames. BOOM. (you're still a nerd.)
• you working at burger king.
• you WRECKING the geo prism.
• ahhhh yes, your bands--punkadent, all things considered, addison.
• you wearing chucks, knee socks, AND shorts!
• you showing off your "video game-thumb muscle". (rolling eyes)
• you calling me for the first time on the phone for no real reason other than to just chat.
• you crying over eating sour cream & onion chips. (not sure how that managed to leak out.) =)
• your million catch-phrases that seem to build in popularity via MOM--"tsst"
• you marrying jonna & me realizing that you grew up... & loving the man you had become.

i know i don't say it enough, but i love you jordan.
and thanks. for being my big brother.

recovery, day 2

i finally got a good "night's" sleep after dozing off a little past 2am. while the sleep did wonders for my swollen cheeks, the inactivity of my jaw made it quite soar. not to fear, mom was ready with lots of salt water, vitamins, and of course MORE drugs. hahaha. [i can't imagine what people did before modern medicine.]


here is my lovely morning face:

and PROOF! that i used salt water. i loathe that stuff. =)

dolor del diente

surgery & recovery, day 1

so... yesterday i had the pleasure of experiencing the removal of all four of my wisdom teeth. i don't think i would have been as nervous if i hadn't listened to everyone's horror stories about their own gruesome experiences. it ended up turning into a competition between my co-workers on who had the worst experience... [just the kind of advice you need to give someone with an overactive imagination when it comes to the mutilations doctors can do to a patient's body during surgery. i've seen enough tv to know the truth behind it all. oh, you think i'm kidding? television NEVER lies.]

everything happened so quickly. i walked into the office and signed in. you know, all the usual stuff. i told myself i wasn’t going to freak out--there was no way of getting out of it. almost immediately, i was called back into their operating room. i didn’t have to wait long for things to begin, for which i‘m very thankful. (it didn’t allow me too much time to think it all through. after all, ignorance IS bliss.) but as soon as the nurse put the hair net on me, i started to freak out. big time. they put that clamp on my finger to track my heart rate. i messed around with it, making the beat rise and fall. it was oddly calming. one of the nurses chuckled when i owned up to it and then promised to stop.

the doc came in shortly after to start my iv. he said the usual line: “you will only feel a small pinch” to which i rolled my eyes and told him i’d heard that before. to my utter amazement, it truly was ONLY a small pinch! i congratulated him on doing such a wonderful job and told him he was the first person to have ever told the truth when it came to needle sticking. (i HAD to butter him up… he was about to CUT my teeth out!)

once the iv was in place, the room started to spin ever so slightly. then it hit me. that horrible nervous feeling right in the pit of my chest. the doc assured me it was just the drugs kicking in. the nurse then put the oxygen mask on my nose and that was the last thing i remember.

after i woke up, i found myself on a cot, shaking uncontrollably. my sweet, sweet mama was sitting next to me rubbing my back, telling me everything was ok. i sat up at once and starting shooting out question after question. it didn't register that neither the nurse nor my mom could understand my "guaze-talk". i just kept rattling off questions, wanting to make sure they got ALL of my teeth. both my mom and the nurse tried to stop me from talking. it was all in vain. =D

by the time we got back home, my mom was fluent in “gauze-talk”. =) she got me all settled in, expecting me to fall asleep. nope. i didn’t actually fall asleep till around 3am. then again at 4:30am. FINALLY, i was able to get a couple hours of sleep around 9. i haven’t slept since.

saying goodbye to wisdom

today i'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled... yanked. snatched. wrenched out of my head. whatever you'd like to call it.

right now i'm fine. but as soon as i get into that chair and they pull out the needle to stick IN me? dear lord! my heart is gonna start racing. BUT! i've got to prove to my dear friend that i'm not a panzy and that i can be tough. (choking on laughter)

yeah. i'll be fine.

right.....?

pizza--of all the culprits

i've had my wisdom teeth for years. years. and they've never given me any problem. that is not until a couple days ago. i chipped my tooth on some pizza and had to go in to the dentist to get it checked out. as a result, i'll have to have a crown put on it. BUT! before any of that happens, i have to have my wisdom teeth pulled! of ALL the luck. =( next tuesday is my lucky day for getting all of my wisdom teeth ripped out of their comfortable homes--deep in the caverns of my gums. they'll then be slung around the trophy necklace i SWEAR the oral surgeon must hide under his pillow.

my doc prescribed me this mouth wash, chlorhexidine gluconate (the cheap version of periogard) that i have to use three times a day until the appointed time. now i can't sleep because the after-taste is like yak spit mixed with listerine. the bottle warns to not swallow but i can't help the little sloshes that sneak down my throat! its just awful! my tongue tingles, my gums feel dry, and my dangly thing feels like it was scrubbed with ascorbic acid. not only do i have to use this stuff taken straight out of snape's closet... but i have to use it 3 times a day--every day until my surgery!

i’m sure tooth extraction technology has advanced from the days of metal tools and pliers but why can't they just get a lock on them and beam them out? it would certainly save me from all the misery i'm sure will ensue.

not enough

i looked in my closet

this morning

and saw that i had

17 pairs of chucks.

that’s hot.

where the wild things are

"inside all of us is... hope.

inside all of us is.... fear.

inside all of us is... adventURE.

inside all of us is a WILD thing."

warner borther’s is bringing to life one of my favorite childhood stories, where the wild things are. it will be debuting october 16th, 2009 in theaters near you. so exciting!

here are some incredible snapshots from the movie:

i hope you are as excited about this movie as i am. =D

dirt

this was too funny not to share. =)

“one day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. the animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

he invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. they all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. at first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried horribly. then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.

a few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. he was astonished at what he saw. with each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up.

as the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

…life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. the trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. each of our troubles is a steppingstone. we can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! shake it off and take a step up.

NOW...

enough of that crap… the donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. the gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.”

the end.

dear 3am

dear 3am,
we have to stop meeting like this.
i'd rather sleep with you.
love,
me

18 bottles

i had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted i empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. after careful consideration, i reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

i withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

then, i withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which i drank.

i then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, which i drank.

i pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which i drank.

i pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

i pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. then, i corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

when i had everything emptied, i steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by i counted them again, and finally i had all the houses in one bottle, which i drank.

i'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep i am. i'm not half as thunk as you might drink. i fool so feelish i don't know who is me, and the drunker i stand here, the longer i get.

art is...

art is...

an expression of,

a symbol of,

a commentary

on life.

we all have opinions.

we like it.

we hate it.

we ignore it.

it is everywhere.

these photos were found at deviantart.com, except the last two.

those two are by one of my favorite photographers. =)